Four Men in a Fort
by Duckula Sunk My ROFLship
Summary: England, America, Canada and Wales go touring the castles of England. Hilarity ensues? Sequel to A Convenient Affair. Pointless fic is pointless. Wanted to practise writing the couples.


It had been too long for me to remember since my two brothers and I had been on holiday together. And now there were four of us touring England's castles. England had grudgingly invited his older brother Wales to come along to keep Canada happy, as long as he didn't get in the way. There had never been any danger of that. Wales was the Canada of Britain, easily overlooked and even more easily forgotten. We'd pretty much been able to ignore them both the whole trip so far. I just felt sorry for Canada's bear. He didn't have a clue who _either_ of them were.

Canada seemed really happy. He and Wales were constantly giggling, and though he was even more shy than usual, when they did get talking they had an awful lot in common.

"Why didn't you tell me about Wales before?" Canada asked me one night, "You told me about England's other brothers."

"He just didn't stick in my mind. I didn't really remember him." I answered truthfully. My brother adopted a sheepish grin.

"He's really nice and really sweet," he said, fiddling with his sleeve, "and he knows a second language just like I do. He taught me how to say hello in Welsh and I taught him how to say it in French. You know his name in French means Land of the Gauls? I'd like to know why that is. He's had a really interesting life, and he's telling me all about it."

"Yeah, fascinating... Have you guys actually _done it_ yet? England said that Wales is still a virgin." Canada flushed bright red.

"No! I hardly think we've been together long enough for _that_ yet, America!" he replied quietly.

"Trust me, a week is long enough." I assured him.

"How long have you and England been together?" he asked.

"Long enough for me to do this..." I took off my jacket, shirt and tie and went and sat on England, who had been talking to Wales. I shut him up with a deep kiss, and he completely forgot his conversation as I started taking off his shirt and tie as well.

We forgot Canada and Wales were watching and started to get carried away. I breathed American words to him as he undid both our belts.

"I can't believe I never knew the other side of the world was so exciting before." I told him. I was fairly sure England's house was on the other side of the world to mine.

"Oh my god," England muttered, pulling me closer, "you're such an idiot."

I think that was when Canada and Wales left and went upstairs. At least I hope it was. Either way, when they returned they found us out of breath, very satisfied, England lying in my arms.

The next day I think Wales decided that he wasn't going to be outdone by his younger brother. We hadn't seen them in a while, and we weren't exactly wondering where they were, but we were sure there was something missing. We only realised what that something was when we saw them coming out of a room bright red with their hair and clothes a mess.

"Oh, hah, well, that was... That was, ahum, well..." rambled Canada, his face flushed and his eyes sparkling. Wales was a little more direct.

"You can no longer say I'm a virgin, Arthur Kirkland!" he crowed, and Canada put his hand over his mouth, embarrassed. I winked at him and he went an even brighter red, if possible, and adjusted his glasses.

***

"Tomorrow's castle is haunted, so I don't want any of you messing around and disturbing the spirits," England was saying later that day.

"If I get scared, can I sleep with you?" I asked. He knew I meant it entirely differently than when I usually asked this question.

"Of course." he replied.

"How will I know if I'm disturbing the spirits?"

"Because I'll hit you if you do. And if you continue to mutter to yourself in Welsh, Drywyd, I'll hit you too, and you know I'm not bluffing. And I don't mean like you hit Canada earlier, either." England seemed in a surprisingly good mood today. I stood next to him and put my arm around him.

"Why're you so happy today then?"

He grinned.

"Scotland just called me on my mobile -"

"Cell."

"Oh god," He found my hand and dug his nails into my skin. "On my _mobile_. And apparently he's in hospital."

"Oh England, that's so mean."

"Oh, I know, but I hate the bugger."

The next day he was back to his usual self though. He heard Wales teaching Canada some Welsh in the back of the car and got really annoyed.

"Dammit, Drywyd! For the last time, shut the fuck up!"

"Watch out!" I shouted in alarm, as he had turned around to shout at his brother and the car had swerved dangerously. I hated England's driving. He drove on the wrong wide of the road, anyway. He'd offered me the wheel once after I complained too much, but everyone else on his stupid roads drove on the wrong side as well as him, and they had these stupid roundabout things that made no sense and were impossible to use and the car almost crashed. Canada didn't like his driving either, but he was hardly going to say anything.

When we were in the castle England made us be as quiet as possible. I didn't really believe it was haunted. I knew ghosts didn't exist, no matter what England said. Or Wales. Or even Canada…

Night fell, and nothing much had happened. I was picking at some moss from between the stones that made the wall, bored out of my mind, when I heard a scream. This was shortly followed by another, and I walked over to the doorway to see Canada running towards me.

"_Get out of the way, America!_" he cried, "Run! It's really angry at me!" I stepped aside and he flashed past, through the room and turning right at the other door. What was all that about…? I wandered to the doorway my brother had left through and looked around the corner. He was already gone, but I saw Wales backing away from something imaginary from another direction, whispering in Welsh at high speed. I watched until he was out of sight as well, but I never saw what he was backing away from. I… Was starting to get a little creeped out. What were those guys so afraid of? I heard another scream ring out from the top floor as England barrelled into the room behind me. He grabbed my arms tightly when I turned to him, digging his fingers in, and I could see the mad fear in his eyes.

"We have to get out of here," he gabbled at me, "it's after us because of something stupid Wales did and now it's after us and, oh god, we have to get out of here, America, and – _EEK!_" he shrieked, fell over in panic and scrabbled out of the room.

What was going on? Why was everyone acting so strangely? What was "really angry"? Was it the same thing that was "after us"? What was that? I was beginning to get kinda scared.

Was something wrong with _me?_ Was that why I couldn't see whatever it was that the others could? Suddenly I wanted England by my side, very badly. I knew I was strong, but I would be no good against something I couldn't see. Where should I go? What was going on? Where were the others?

"England?" I called, but the castle was silent. His name echoed back to me. "_England?_" I called again, more worried than before.

I ran the hell outta that castle and dived into the car, where I found Canada, his bear, Wales, and my England already in their seats.

"Drive, England, drive like the madman you are!" I yelled, and he stepped on it and the car shot away. "You'd better have that gas pedal on the floor!" I told him.

"It's petrol, not gas!" he shouted, always the pedant, as we swerved around a corner.

***

The next day England was looking at me strangely.

"What?" I eventually had to know.

"Does this mean you believe in ghosts now?" he asked.

"No!" I immediately said. Then I paused. "But… I'm not doubting you can see them…" I rested my head on his shoulder. "Maybe they only exist in your territory." He kissed me then, and I never wanted it to end.

**Author's Note: **_Crappy title is crappy. And pointless story is pointless. I didn't plan it at all beforehand. I guess it was a bit of a practise fic. _


End file.
